10 Strategies for Better Relationships

Improve your relationships by choosing to walk in love and following these 10 Strategies for Better Relationships.
Remember the words, “Will you be mine?” They were on most valentine cards you exchanged with your childhood friends along with boxes for you to check yes, no or maybe. Receiving a valentine as a child made you feel loved.

Isn’t that what you still want to feel today? You want to be loved – and you are. God, who is Love, loves you – unconditionally (1 John 4:10). What’s more, His love is perfect (1 John 4:17). But when it comes to living out this same unconditional and perfect love with others, nowhere will you find yourself more challenged than with those closest to you – your spouse, your children, your friends or your co-workers. And yet, love is essential to the success of your relationships.

If you want to grow closer to your spouse and your children, if you want to get along better with your friends and co-workers, study these 10 Strategies for Better Relationships and start putting them to work in your life.

1. Be patient and kind.

“Love endures long and is patient and kind.” –1 Corinthians 13:4 (AMPC)

It’s so easy to allow impatience to become a habit, but you can choose to yield to the love that’s on the inside of you. When you’re waiting in line at the grocery store or the gas station, when you’re waiting to take your turn while playing a board game, or any other time you are waiting, you can choose to allow the love of God on the inside of you to rise up. Responding to that love will enable you to be able to endure long with someone and show them kindness.

2. Be happy for others and walk in humility.

“Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.” –1 Corinthians 13:4-5

To be jealous is to have a feeling of discontent and ill will because of another’s advantages, possessions or success; to be happy for someone else requires humility. When you are jealous of another person’s possessions or success, you are comparing yourself to that person. Second Corinthians 10:12 says, “When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise” (NIV). You can be happy for others when they get a new car, a new house or a new outfit, because instead of comparing your life to theirs, you can humble yourself before God and ask Him for what you desire, knowing you will receive because your heart is right – full of the love of God for others.

Do you feel that everyone else seems blessed but you? Watch here to find out what to do.

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3. Defer to others and their preferences.

“[Love] does not demand its own way.” –1 Corinthians 13:5

A key ingredient of love is self-sacrifice. It’s self-giving, not self-seeking. With every decision, you have the power to sacrifice or not. You can choose to walk in love or selfishness. The next time you have the opportunity to let someone have their way, go first in line, or choose where to go for dinner, defer to them and their preference. Sacrifice what you want for what they want. This bold move will surprise them and serve as an example to them of the love of God at work in you.

4. Leave the past in the past.

“[Love] is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.” –1 Corinthians 13:5

Think about the last time you got into a disagreement with someone. Was that disagreement based on something that happened in the past? Oftentimes, the enemy will bait you with an opportunity for strife – to fight for your right to be right – and he’ll do it through the people you love. The next time such a moment arises and you’re tempted to join in the fight, bringing up the past and letting it fuel you, yield instead to the love of God. Rather than keeping a record of wrongs, practice keeping a record of rights – a list of all the good things someone does in your life.

5. Stand up for injustice and rejoice in truth.

“[Love] does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.” –1 Corinthians 13:6

Love rejoices in truth; and when you speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), you are becoming more like Jesus. He spoke the truth in love. He stood up for injustice when people were oppressed and downtrodden. Your perspective regarding injustice may be influenced by the world, by social media, by fake news or by your well-meaning circle of friends. However, the only perspective God wants you to have is His – and His perspective is found in the example of Jesus. The next time you see injustice and want to turn your head away, ask God for wisdom. He will show you what to do so that right and truth prevail (1 Corinthians 13:6, AMPC).

6. Be enduring, hopeful, steadfast and loyal.

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” –1 Corinthians 13:7

What circumstances are you facing? There is no greater power to get you through difficult or painful times than love – the love of God. The love of God you experience personally – by choosing to spend quality time with Him – and the love of God you experience through others, will keep you going in the worst of circumstances. Instead of drawing back and being alone, reach out to other like-minded believers and fellowship with them. Your communion with them will strengthen you and enable you to stay steadfast and loyal in your fight of faith.

7. Always think the best of others.

“Love…is ever ready to believe the best of every person….” -–1 Corinthians 13:7 (AMPC)

Imagine how many relational conflicts would end before they ever began if people believed the best of every person first. The enemy will always want to get strife in your life and relationships, because it gives him place. But strife is dangerous. It’s defined as “vigorous or bitter conflict, discord or antagonism, quarrelling or clashing, competition or rivalry.” In other words, you are yielding to strife anytime you’re against someone rather than being for them. Learn to think the best of others first by noticing the good qualities of each person you encounter.

8. Be tenderhearted and forgiving.

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” –Ephesians 4:32

A person who is kind and tenderhearted has learned that there are many sides to an issue; there are many perspectives to consider. When you feel wounded in a situation, you might have misunderstood what was said, you might misunderstand the viewpoint of the other person, or you might be ignorant of some facts regarding the issue. Nevertheless, choosing to forgive someone when they did you wrong or you perceived they did you wrong keeps you in position to receive forgiveness from God (Matthew 6:14-15).

9. Really love people with genuine affection and honour.

“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honouring each other.” –Romans 12:9-10

Romans 12:9-10 in The Message says, “Love from the centre of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.” Being real and transparent with God is paramount to your growth in walking in love in authenticity.

You may find it difficult to practice some of these Bible verses. The good news is that you can ask God for help. Ask Him to help you love with genuine affection and practice playing second fiddle.

10. Make unity and peace a priority.

“Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.” –Ephesians 4:3

Anytime you’re out of unity, out of agreement, and perhaps in strife, you’re wrong – even if you’re right. To keep walking in love, do all you can to stay in unity and peace. Talk it out. Work it out. And get back to walking in love. By doing so, you are treating each member of the Body of Christ as family. God loves when you remember that you are one Body, one family, and each one is in need of the others (1 Corinthians 12:12).

By putting these 10 Strategies for Better Relationships to work in your life, you’ll be walking in love; and your relationships will be stronger and healthier than ever. Jesus said, “Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (John 13:34-35). Rather than feeling loved from receiving a valentine given to you in secret, the love you receive from God will be on full display for the world to see in how you treat others.